This phase has been a strange one. As I said yesterday, I haven't eaten everything that is on the menu for this phase; I haven't eaten anything that hasn't been allowed to this point, either. I have tried a couple of new things that were not quite the taste sensation that I thought they would be. And I keep dreaming of that sandwich. It is the light at the end of my tunnel.
I'm coming to a very stressful time, as well. I'm a little worried, but I'm trying not to be. You see, I am an emotional eater. I eat when I'm sad, lonely, depressed, stressed, happy, bored...you get the picture. For a wonder I'm not as big as a house, instead of a Mini Cooper. There are a couple of big things that are on the brink and I'm praying that the Big Guy will help me not to go over it. My dad is having surgery tomorrow afternoon and tomorrow is my co-worker's last day for the next month and a half because she is having surgery on Friday. I'm not so much stressed by the fact that she is having surgery (although I'm praying for all to go well for her), as the fact that I will be basically at the front counter on my own. My counter can be stressful when there are two of us, so I'm praying for an extra helping of the Joseph attitude to get me through it. (In case you are wondering, I'm talking about Joseph from the Bible. Read his story for details.) I'm trying not to fret over my dad's surgery. He is in the hands of the Great Physician; the One who loves beyond all reason. And most of the time, I'm good with it. The enemy doesn't like us to be "good with it". Ever. So, he comes along and whispers in your ear and suddenly you find yourself fretting away. It's like a little mouse nibbling away at a piece of cheese. I shoo it away with a prayer, but eventually that little mouse comes back. So I shoo it away again. That mouse has a name, too. It's name is What If. That's what the enemy whispers to you, what if, what if? With God, there are no what ifs. With God, you give it to Him and leave it there. And you trust that all will be right, no matter the outcome. I've cried my tears, believe me and that's ok, too. God can take it. But through those tears, I've kept my eyes on Him and my hand in His.
Am I worried that I will be tempted to eat something not in the detox? I'm not worried. I know I will be tempted. I'm doing something good and positive; something that will bring me to better health, so of course the enemy is going to tempt me. Will I give in? I don't think so. I've been praying for God to see me through this and I believe He will. I don't have the wherewithal, but He does. He is strong in my weakness.
Time to call it a day.
Tally ho!
Nevada Smith
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